Saturday, April 5, 1980

As noted previously, Saturday was a miserable day. I was cold most of the day and spent the day between running the truck motor and heater and sitting in the cold cab, with occasional trips to Yosemite Village to warm up. And waiting. And wondering. I had to keep checking our pre-arranged meeting place because I faced David's wrath if I wasn't there to get him when he arrived.

Trips to Yosemite Village should have been fun, but not today. I had almost no money, so couldn't do any "real" shopping. Of course, we're not talking about a mall here. There was the Visitors' Center, a book store and a general store, which had groceries and gifts (the best I remember). Normally, you could be done with shopping here is a couple of hours, at most. But I had all day.

To pass the time and keep my mind off the waiting, I literally looked at every item in every store. I remember thinking how incredibly expensive the fresh blueberries were. I found a number of nature books I wanted, wished I could take such fabulous photos as I saw on posters and wondered if I should buy a gift for Dave to celebrate his successful climb of El Capitan (and hopefully appease him a bit if I were late picking him up).

By early afternoon, the snow had begun to melt and I was noticeably worried. Surely by now, if all was well, he would have contacted me or have arrived at our meeting spot. Was he hurt? Did he stay sheltered from the snow? Did he have equipment problems? Did he need help or did things just take longer than he expected? How long do I keep up my running to our meeting point and back? Til dark? After dark? I didn't have a Plan B.

As a new Christian, I had been taught we are not to worry, but rather give our situation to God and trust Him. Throughout the day, I had prayed several times, "I give this situation to You." Yet, I still found myself worried. Something wasn't working and I felt a bit guilty or stupid for evidently not doing it "right." By around 3 pm I had wandered over to the beautiful Ahwahnee Hotel and found a quiet couch in the lobby. I needed something more... more comfort? more answers? from God. The next half hour proved to be pivotal in my life.

Please understand that the conversation that ensued happened in my head and my heart. I did not hear an audible voice nor were there angles or beams of light or other supernatural phenomenon. Just God's quiet whisper inside. Yes, I do believe in Him and believe He desires personal relationship with us. I believe He loves us and that He is good and loving. Even if I hadn't believed it fully before, I certainly did after this encounter.

"So, I know I'm not supposed to worry, as a Christian and all, and that I need to give it to You. I keep giving it to You, so why am I still worried?" I didn't expect an answer, I was just expressing frustration.

"Because, when you said the words, 'I give it to You,' your heart was saying, 'end my waiting and bring David back; give me a happy ending and prove my that my worrying was needless.' It isn't the words that stop the worrying, but a heart that truly releases the situation to Me and gives up all demands for a specific outcome."

Whoa. He was right. What I wanted was a formula that when I prayed the "right" thing, then God would give me what I wanted. In this case, it was for David to be back safe and sound and to get on with life. Was I really ready to give God control? Was I willing to give Him permission to do whatever He wanted in this situation? Wait. Did I just consider giving God permission? Like He needs my permission to do whatever He wants! Yet, He wasn't strong-arming me nor throwing His sovereignty in my face.

I wrestled with my own level of faith. Did I really believe the Bible? Did I believe the testimonies of others about God's care and provision? Did I believe it enough to let go of control? Was I willing to trust Him no matter the outcome? Whether David came back as I wanted or if he were injured, paraplegic, brain injured, crippled, dead or any number of other options? Could I live with those other options? Could I really handle life if something bad happened?

In the end, logic won out and I had to trust that all I believed about God was true and that He would be with me no matter what. Interesting, though I don't generally picture things in my head, I had this image of God wearing a blue and gray flannel shirt; a comfy, soft flannel shirt. The image was just of the chest area (yet somehow I knew it was God) and the focus was on the pocket. I was to mentally slip Dave into the pocket and know that he was in God's care - near God's heart.

So I prayed, sincerely this time, "God, I give you this situation. Whatever the outcome, I will trust You." And immediately a peace I had never known before flooded through me, even warming me a bit. The reality in my heart was that God cared for me and would be with me no matter what.

It Is Time

Twenty-nine years ago last night I was finishing my CB radio to Walkie-Talkie conversation with my husband. I headed back to my tent. He was bivouaced in an alcove over 3,000 feet up the Nose route of El Capitan in Yosemite valley. He had already anchored the pitch above and would be completing the climb to the top first thing in the morning. I had given him the weather report - a snow storm was on its way. He was not worried since he could easily climb that last pitch, even in snow.

Saturday morning, I awoke to a blanket of white. Clouds filled the valley and there was no visual indication that I was surrounded by the monolithic grandeur that is Yosemite. I grabbed something for breakfast, then headed down to the meadow to make radio contact with Dave once again. Depending on the time he awoke, he could have completed his descent by mid-morning. I did NOT want to face his fury, so I dared not be late.


We had been married less than two years and it had been rocky almost from the start. He decided he had been limited for too long and rebelled against nearly everything I thought he believed in. He had a nasty temper and wanted things his way. I tried hard to please him, but it seemed we were always at odds over something. Six months earlier, he even had a girlfriend. He swears nothing physical happened between them, but I was never sure. Despite the tough times, things had improved since the first of the year. I would soon have my teaching license and we were making plans that would suit both of us.

Saturday was hard. I couldn't raise David on the CB. I didn't know whether his battery had died, he had dropped the thing or if he was just busy climbing. He only turned it on occasionally, so it wasn't too odd to not reach him. But what was I to do? I couldn't sit in our pick up truck waiting. If I ran the motor, it wasted gas. Without the motor, there was no heat. I could return to the village, but if Dave made it to the meeting spot and I wasn't there, I was in trouble.

I did a little of everything. I waited until I couldn't stand the cold any more, then ran the motor and heater for a bit. Once in a while I would drive back to the village and wander through the stores to stay warm. I'd stay only as long as I thought I could before driving back to our meeting spot to see if he was there. Round and round. Waiting, cold, waiting.

One (Wo)man's Trash...

I can't believe my daughter threw this wonderfully textured paper into the trash! It was her under paper for some inking and coloring she did on some cardstock suns for decorations at work. It is letter sized and much richer looking in person than this scan shows. I quickly snatched it out of the garbage can. I'm not sure what I will make of it, but I love the colors.

I am also preparing for camp. I head off to Northwest Christian Camp for the Deaf as Craft Director on the 19th. Before I leave, I need to complete craft ideas, write directions for my assistants, make samples and prepare the 3' x 8' board for a pictorial mosaic we will make as a "thank you" gift to the camp facility.



In addition, my daughter and I "have to" defend our title at county grilling champs at the county fair on Saturday the 12th. :-) I still can't believe we won last year! We dubbed our team the Sauce-y Chicks. Michelle designed the barbecue-sauce-splot logo and we collaborated on the Apple-Chipotle recipe. This year we're working on an Asian flavored sauce. (and I hope I don't end the competition by severly spraining my ankle like last year!)

Grandma's Girl

Summer is finally here. I've almost wrapped up things at school. I'm making progress on projects at home. Things are looking up.

Part of the stress-busting includes having my granddaughter over to pick raspberries and blow bubbles. We also stamped this shirt we bought at the dollar store a few days ago. She picked the stamps and colors and showed where she wanted each shape. She helped press the stamps down. I can't wait to do more projects with her this summer. At 3 1/2 she is ripe for art and cooking times with grandma!

The Dress

So, here's the dress on my beautiful younger daughter. After a few unexpected difficulties, we barely got it done on time and had no time for alterations.

She still loved it and her friends liked it, too. The dress is a purple-black taffeta with a blue, bejeweled sheer over the taffeta on the corset. The skirt and corset are two pieces, but we did tack them together for her comfort.

Lots of work. Less than $100 total. And the last prom dress I'll have to make. :-)

(Picture taken about 7 pm - during one of our sun breaks during a crazy-weather day.)

Break Time

Ah. Time to take just a few moments to breathe and maybe run outside to catch that last ray of setting sun - since the forecast isn't so lovely the next few days. A prediction of snow down to 1,000 feet usually makes us wish for that extra 500 feet to get snow on the ground here, but in the last part of April I am ready for more sunny days.

However, maybe a dusting of white would be a welcome sight after seeing nothing but dark purple taffeta for days on end. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a bit. But making a floor-length prom dress from 10 yards of 60" wide taffeta FEELS like mountains. Then, there are the 15 yards of black lining fabric (including the "stay" - a second lining that the poofs of taffeta are tacked to). And don't get me started on how many yards of boning have to be laid down each seam of the corset-style bodice!


Last night, I listened (and occasionally glanced at) HGTV while working away. Tonight, it is just my iTunes and I. I have some oldies, movie soundtracks (Sound of Music, Pirates and Polar Express), contemporary Christian favorites and even Christmas music. It's all playing randomly while I stitch away. I may switch to TV when "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" comes on, though it is embarrassing how many answers I, as a high school teaher, don't know.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't be grumbling, Lord, but after working hard all day then facing this dress at night don't I deserve a little "poor me" time? No? Yes, it was my choice. (Who could blame me after looking at the prices of store-bought dresses?) And I probably could have pushed harder for my daughter to make a decision about a pattern and fabric earlier. Okay. And I also admit I rather like the challenge of making something (hopefully) stunning out of a few yards of fabric and a spool of thread. Right. My choice. No room for complaining.

And it's time to get back to work!

Flowers

I was hoping to have all my Hawaii flower pictures uploaded to my Flickr account so I could put a flower slide-show on this page, but I have to finish my daughter's prom dress first. (There is no way I can include even a fraction of the photos in one little blog!)

I can't say I was impressed by the flowers the moment we arrived in Kona. After all, it was dark and I couldn't SEE any flowers! However, beginning the next morning from the time I stepped onto the lanai I was treated to such a vast array of colors and shapes and scents... Truly breathtaking!

One of the most awesome memories from the trip was our visit to Hawaii Tropical Botanical Gardens. Located just north of Hilo, you have to take this twisty, narrow side road for several miles (and of course, they were doing construction on the road when we were there, so that took up half of that narrow road for a bit!). Once we arrived at the gift shop and purchased our tickets, we had a lovely walk down wooden and asphalt trails. Yes, I said "down." The gardens are on a fairly steep hillside, but it isn't too difficult to navigate. And once at the bottom, you can "cheat" like we did and hire the golf cart to take you to the top for just $5!


Everything is clearly labeled, but don't ask the names of all the flowers I took pictures of. If I was just a sight-seer, I might have thought to include the signs with the plants so I'd have that record, but as a photographer, I was more concerned with colors and lighting and cropping. I could have spent many more hours here, but we had a helicopter to catch so could only stay for about 90 minutes.

Another great flower venue was our hotel, the Dolphin Bay Hotel in Hilo. Their grounds were like a miniature botanical gardens, sans the signs. Here we were also treated to beautiful birds and cascades of bananas and clusters of papaya. (You can pick and eat any of the fruit on the grounds while you are there. But they keep fresh fruit in the lobby so you don't have to figure out how to shimmy up the trees!)

Still wondering about that burlap bag below? Soon...