Most Embarrassing Moment

We've all been in gatherings where this topic is used as an icebreaker. I always hate these kinds of questions because, while I know I've had my share of embarrassing moments, my mind goes blank and that becomes an embarrassing moment. The day before my vacation, however, I managed to pull off a classic embarrassment with my own unique twist.

In addition to frantically packing and running last-minute errands, I had to go to the sleep clinic, see the doctor for the results of my sleep study, get my prescription for a CPAP machine, then go get the machine at a nearby business. (No by choice. I had asked for a referral in February, since my mom and daughter refused to let me sleep in the same room unless my snoring stopped. Things were dropped and overlooked all spring, so this was critical to complete before vacation.) Today as I returned for a follow-up visit I was reminded of my gaffe.

After that doctor visit I shared the elevator ride to the parking garage with a 20-something pizza delivery guy. I joked with him a bit about hospital food and the need for his services there. (He had delivered to the staff, not patients.) He was polite, letting me exit first and holding the door for me. Upon arriving at the CPAP business, I stood at the busy counter for a good 5 to 10 minutes before they could see what I needed. After all the running, I was grateful to flop down and rest of the small couch beside a kind-looking elderly lady.

She leaned over and sweetly whispered in my ear... "I think you have some toilet paper sticking out in back."

Worse. I reached back and was mortified to feel the slick paper of a toilet seat cover. My mind raced back over all the encounters since leaving the bathroom about an hour earlier. Yes, the doctor and some of the office staff would have seen. That polite pizza delivery guy (amazing he could contained what must have been side-splitting laughter). All the people in that waiting room. Yeah. No escaping the facts. Maybe it was a good thing I was leaving the country...