Innocent Child

Childhood should be innocent. Running barefoot on the grass. Trips to the zoo and beach. Stories, hugs, kisses and giggles. All while cocooned in the love of a mom and dad who would give them the world.

I've wanted that for my kids and now for my grandkids, but life doesn't always give us the things we dream. My heart breaks for my two precious granddaughters, just 4 years old and 6 months old. Their mom and dad were too busy, too self-absorbed and/or too unobservant. Both were arrested for child neglect yesterday. I'm so angry about their lies and neglect - and stealing the right of these girls to the innocent childhood they deserve.

Now they're in foster care. I won't be able to see them for a while... I just want to hold them and tell them I love them and that none of this is their fault. I've always thought that if something happened, I'd take the girls to raise. But now that it is here, I wonder if I am the best choice for them. I love them, but do I have the physical, mental and emotional ability to raise kids again? The older one seems to have her mother's bipolar, meaning years of difficult struggles. Would they be better off in a loving home with TWO parents? I always wanted that for my own girls, but their father wasn't around much, and didn't show them love anyway. (They were supposed to make him feel loved.)

Heavenly Father. I know my girls are more precious to You than even to me. You alone know their futures and what is best for them. I feel inadequate, but if You want me to raise them I know You will provide every thing I need in all areas to do the job well. If they have another family to love them, I will release them though it rip my heart from within me. I am furious and disgusted with my own daughter for the neglect and the carefully crafted lies to keep me from knowing. I want to forgive her, but not right now. I pray as she sits in her cell that she feels the weight of what she did to her children, not just feeling sorry for herself. I want to be open to Your guidance. Let me be wise in You. Above all, bless those innocent girls and shower them with Your love. Let them learn how to enjoy childhood.